Saturday 26 January 2013

Thursday 27 September 2012

My baby nightmare.



I gave birth to a small and beautiful baby girl. I dressed her in pink. She looked so soft. She was locked in my arms. My boyfriend and I gazed into her fresh eyes together. My baby girl then transformed into a kitten which pooed everywhere. Dream over. I hate nightmares. But at least my real baby didn't turn into a kitten. Conclusion: I want a baby.

Friday 31 August 2012

RECIPE: Pineapple crunch.



Until just recently I thought that eating pineapple rings with digestive biscuits was a popular pudding. But, as it turns out no one I know has indulged in this juicy-crunch-combo. It must have just been a Chessman household dessert that I ate lots of as a child. You should all try it. Especially you males. Pineapple has a miraculous effect on the taste of your sperm.

I've had salmonella for the past 3/4 weeks and it drags a heavy load of fatigue with it. So I've been ODing on sugar to prevent me from moping around feeling drained as hell. I may get sugar crashes, but for the short term effects it is worth it. We have even decided to decrease our evening meal portions so that I can make puddings or scoff out on chocolate. Earlier this evening, I couldn't be arsed to walk a couple of minutes up the road to the coop to buy some ingredients, so I raided the cupboard to see what sweet things I could put together. And I found these bad boys. Enjoy.

Sunday 26 August 2012

The Cure are magical.


I felt a shove to my back, my feet slipped and then my body slapped into the thick sludge. We then trawled back to our camp, where I thought it was completely fine to attempt to get inside my tent. Looking like a wet and wild bear, my boyfriend successfully banned me from entering anything more than the porch of our grown-up tent. We then tried to peel the mud-caked leggings and my brown painted-on coat off drunken me, as I persisted on stating that I hated his friend for pushing me and that my boyfriend must fancy one of our mates.

I'm relieved to know that in four hours time I won't be possessed by an irrational form of myself, face down, burbling drunken rambles. I'm happy lay under my blanket watching The Cure's set from Reading, singing lovey lyrics to myself, looking forward to Will getting home.

The dreary rain does has the advantage of beautifully setting the tone for the acoustics of The Cure, it would have been amazing to have been there. Just for this song. 

Thursday 23 August 2012

RECIPE: Blackberry & mixed spice cake.


For my boyfriend's mum's birthday we decided to bake a cake. As blackberries are nearly in peak season (September) it should be quite cheap to make if you live near some hedges.

Unfortunately, we were in a rush as usual so we didn't manage to take any photos, but please enjoy the pretty picture of the phat & juicy lookin blackberries.

It makes quite a lot of cake, probably 14 decent-fill-you-up servings.

Shopping list

2 cups of Plain Flour 2 teaspoons of Baking Powder
1/2 teaspoon of Salt

200g of Cream Cheese
1/2 cup of Butter and then melt it
2 cups of Sugar or 1 cup of Tate and Lyle brown sugar + stevia blend (half the calories)
2 large Eggs
2 teaspoons of Vanilla Extract
2 cups of Blackberries - if you're not scrumping (basically a pack from the shop)
3 tablesoons Sugar or 1.5 tablespoons of Tate and Lyle brown sugar + stevia blend
1.5 teaspoons of Mixed Spice


Method


Put the oven on 180°C or gas mark 4

With butter, grease up a large baking tray (33 x 23 x 5cm) we used a pyrex lasagne dish

In a small bowl sift the flour, baking powder and salt, leave this as you will need it in a bit.

Get a larger bowl and mix the melted butter & cream cheese together, until its all creamy.

NEXT, gradually add the 2 cups of sugar (or 1 cup of sugar + stevia blend)

In a cup, beat 2 eggs and then slowly add the eggs to the mixture (to stop curdling)

Slowly sift everything in the smaller bowl into the mixture and blend together.

Stir in the vanilla and then gently fold in the blackberries

Dollop and evenly spread the mixture into the greased tin

THEN, in a cup mix the 3 tablespoons of sugar (or 1.5 sugar + stevia blend) with the 1.5 teaspoons of mixed spice.

Lastly, sprinkle the sugar and mixed spice over the mix.

Bake for 50 minutes

Shove a knife into the centre and if it comes out clean, its all baked! if not, it may need a couple more minutes.

Leave to cool.


Cut into squares and either scoff it all  with family & friends or store in a tin.

Let me know how the recipes goes for you, everyone here seemed to love it!  

Friday 17 August 2012

In love with Marina and The Diamonds.


I thought it would be best to express my tantalizing obsession with Marina and The Diamonds.

Wednesday 18 July 2012

Home sweet home.


The past week I have had a long-awaited stay at my parents house and the time i've spent with my mum and dad has been lovely. We went out for dinner at a restaurant run by family friends to celebrate their 28th wedding anniversary, which is a bit out of the ordinary, I know, but fresh homemade Italian food and knowing my favourite apple dessert is on the menu, I couldn't really force them to spend the night alone, just the two of them.

Although I've been busy working the last 8 days at a kennels and cattery, I have spent my spare time playing with my mums chickens. She has recently opened her own business (Hollydene Hens) selling young hens to try and stop battery farming and to promote how cheap & easy it is to be self-sufficient. I have also been acting like a dog with my dog, and I can draw two conclusions: rolling around on the floor is so much fun, you should try it sometime, and humans should really start lying down more, it is so chilled. I also resorted to baking cupcakes as my craving for just one, gorgeous, superdooperly chocolate fudgey iced Fancie cupcake was too intense.


Since moving to Sheffield a couple of years ago for uni, I've really missed living in the countryside. Despite Sheffield being a green city, it can still get claustrophobic. 
The city gives you freedom to access train and coach travel to everywhere around the country, whereas you'll be lucky if a bus came through my home village once every two hours. But, city life doesn't give you real freedom. Knowing you can't just run out of the front door and not get seen, finding yourself wandering in random fields, singing (yawping) Grease songs and performing freaky dance moves with your best friend whilst your dogs are getting lost in corn fields is a well irritating fact. I guess you can just do all of that in the middle of town, but you would get discouraged by snobby looks from an indie cindie or get hassled by the Police for something. Way too much social paranoia in the world.